you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
