I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
