I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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