We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
