A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
