My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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