the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize