I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
