We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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