i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
