I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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