I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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