She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
