I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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