I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
