is wine microwaveable?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
