Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
