I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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