So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
