So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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