I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
