I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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