Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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