I have demons in me.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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