When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
