8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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