i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
