4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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