OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize