I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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