u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
