found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize