What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize