This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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