Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
