her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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