She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
