He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Let's paint friendship bongs
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
