I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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