I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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