Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i drank out of a bidet.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Im part way to drunk.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
