I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
