I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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