Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
