Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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