that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
