Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
