i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize