Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
