You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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