oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize