with your own penis?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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