i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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