Don't you send me to vm
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
