when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
