my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
