Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
barbara walters just said penis...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
