he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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