I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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